Forgotten magic
by AmyNY
Summary: He may have been useless when it came to all the stunt stuff and guns and all that fancy spy business but there was one thing he always could do. Not anymore. Now he had absolutely no idea how to put a smile on her face. Charah and Mergana


**Title:** The forgotten magic

 **Fandom(s):** Chuck and Merlin (crossover)

 **Pairings** : Mergana, Charah

 **Summary** : He may have been useless when it came to all the stunt stuff and guns and all that fancy spy business but there was one thing he always could do. Not anymore. Now he had absolutely no idea how to put a smile to her face.

 **AN:** Chuck's POV. Two of my favorite shows and two characters that have surprisingly a lot in common heh Hope this isn't too OOC, I tried to keep them true to their characters. Let me know what you think!

… _I'll bury my love for you…_

A loud noise brings him back to reality and he reaches for something tucked away neatly at his side. It used to be her hand there that made him feel safe, warm and reassuring. Now all he felt was steel, cold against his feverish palm. Still he gripped the handle of the gun, thumb waiting on the trigger, without even thinking - a pure habit by now. How things have changed. He let it go as soon as he noticed the source of the supposed disturbance - a couple of friends seated at a table neat the bar enjoying a fun evening at the pub, laughing at one joke or the other.

That was the problem really. Despite all that happened deep down he was still the same. He still wanted to walk up to her doorway with a rose or surprise her with pizza (extra cheese and no olives). Make her smile. He may have been useless when it came to all the stunt stuff and guns and all that fancy spy business but there was one thing he always could do.

Not anymore.

Now he had absolutely no idea how to put a smile to her face.

Or his own, as Ellie kept reminding him. Thought he blamed the London weather for that and the rain that could surprise you even in July. Not that he minded much, as it fit his mood much better than the Californian sun these days. Hence the move across the Atlantic and the new job or at least an extension of his old one across the pond, that kept him busy most days till late hours of the night. Except for the weekends.

Not that he minded working those too but apparently his staff had plans and families to spend time with. He understood that completely but did not want to dwell on it much these days. This is why he was at a pub on a Saturday evening, one that was getting more crowded by the minute.

Still that one pint of Guinness was not worth being turned into a human sandwich, being squashed by a bunch of twentysomethings from both sides. His empty, peaceful apartment was sounding more appealing by the minute. He did have some paperwork to finish and he could maybe check up on Ellie as it's been a busy week and he had no time to-

And there he goes only confirming her theory of being sad enough to spend his Saturday night at home on the phone with his sister.

On the other hand he could stay a few more minutes (it will seem much less pathetic if he calls her after 9pm, obviously). Just somewhere less…crowded. A corner table would be nice, and also impossible to find as he scanned an already jam-packed place.

With tired eyes he skimmed the place one last time before he stood up from the bar, picking up his jacket, ready to leave when he noticed one available spot in the far left corner. Grabbing his half-finished beer he hurriedly made his way through the crowd only to come to a dead end. Well not so much a dead end, as much as a person that looked about as lost as he felt.

"Sorry I don't want to bother you but..." he asked pointing at an empty chair across. When the man failed to even notice him he all but gave up but damn it he's made it this far, no point in going back now through that crowd. Here was nice and quiet and the fella didn't look like he was going to bother him much. Or at all as he was currently too engrossed with the miracle we call cell phone.

Chuck cleared his throat currently regretting his decision to stay here at all.

"Wha-" the man finally looked up. "Oh sorry there mate. Wasn't really paying any-" he said in a thick British accent glancing at his phone that was stubbornly frozen as much as Chuck managed to notice from the distance.

"Just restart it and press this little button here…" he chipped in coming closer to show him how to do it and the damn thing came to life somehow while the man stared at it as if Chuck had just performed a heart surgery or some other equally miraculous thing.

"IT genius. A certified nerd basically." he chipped in jokingly.

"Whatever you are it was a great help. Thanks a lot."

"Oh there is no need. I've done nothing. Just pressed a few buttons. Literally. Glad to know all those years at an Ivy League school and quarter million in debt weren't in vain," he said with a laugh. "Anyhow don't want to bother you but..." Chuck commented looking around. "Saturdays can get busy."

"Didn't really notice. Not much for... "

"Going out?" Chuck said.

"Yes and being around people in general really," he said with a chuckle. "That must sound awful to you-"

"No… no I know what you mean." Chuck agreed. "What I also know very well is that apartments can get lonely."

"Know the feeling." The man said suddenly looking much older than a twenty something Chuck assumed he was. Soon he composed himself and motioned for Chuck to sit down. "If you don't mind a half warm, foul tasting beer I could spare a chair." he said good naturally. "Unless you are waiting for someo-"

"No, no it's just me now." he denied a little too quickly. "Unless she somehow miraculously travels 2000 miles, remembers who I am and walks through those doors-"

"Trust me, I have seen crazier things happen." he said with a chuckle and for some reason Chuck believed him. "I'm Merlin by the way."

"Charles Carm-" he started, a habit by now really and then… "It's Bartowski actually. And everyone calls me Chuck." Or they did. Once.

Merlin nodded his head and raised his pint. "Well Chuck here's to miracles… And forgetting things with a bit of help from the ale."

"You know what- I wouldn't mind that now."

The pints were drained in a matter of minutes and then a few more. Neither seemed much of a drinker as it took only a few beers (admittedly half a gallon each) to get them talking about everything, from their lives to friends, to legends and magic (Did he mention it was a _weird_ night?).

As the night went on so did the conversation and Chuck found himself thinking he could see himself being friends with this guy. Maybe it was his looks which reminded him a lot of Morgan that put him at ease or maybe it was the personality that in many ways he related to. Either way he had to admit that he has confessed more things to this supposed stranger than he has to his own friends and family in the last year.

He tipped his mug with a sigh only to realize it was empty before calling for the waiter.

Swiftly he pulled out his wallet to pay. It was only fair after he ruined the evening for the man. "This round is on me," he announced digging out a twenty.

"Is that the girl?" Merlin asked glancing at the photo stacked neatly next to his credit cards. It was an old one of him and Sarah that Morgan took in his apartment. Well not that old as they barely had time to settle into the married life before the Intersect took everything away. But to him it seemed a lifetime ago.

"Wife actually..." he said closing the wallet and placing it in his pocket quickly. "Soon to be an ex."

Merlin looked at him in surprise.

"Oh sorry 'bout that." he said quietly. "That's the problem with this modern world...you live so fast you forget to take time for..."

"More like she forgot me. Her family. Our whole life together. To her, it's like it never even happened..." he said tracing a drop of water that slid down his cold beer glass absent-mindedly as Merlin looked at him in confusion.

"It's a long story." One he only retold once, and to no avail. So there was no point going over it ever again. That guy who worked at Buy More was as gone as that blonde girl who walked in the store with a broken cell phone five years ago.

But Merlin was looking at him, clearly expecting an answer, curious about the beautiful girl in the photo and his silence only deepened his interest. So really he had to say something.

"To put it in simple terms, there was an accident and she lost her memory." he explained.

"Sounds familiar." Merlin said briefly as Chuck frowned at him. "Let's just say I have a long story of my own that goes way back to the Arthurian legend. And is way worse than yours I'm sure. Tragic even."

"I could use some cheering up right about now."

"Eh I don't think I can fit 2000 years of storytelling into one evening."

"Maybe just give me the cliffs notes. The important bits, and I'll figure out the rest."

"Well...it always starts with a girl and a kingdom and a rather stupid young man who- Let's just say her not remembering me was the least of my problems."

"Er... Wish I could say the same." Chuck laughed. "But yea, I'm all ears."

Time flew by as Merlin finally gave in and started his story, and Chuck settled in, glad for the distraction. Well for the first half an hour at least, and then it all started to sound a little too familiar for his liking (and also completely imaginary and a bit crazy if he was being honest). Not that having a computer with the biggest government secrets stuck in your brain sounded much more believable to an average human. That's not what stuck with him anyway.

What did was the way Merlin's eyes immediately lit up when he started to talk about the adventures from his youth with his friends, Camelot and one person in particular – Morgana, he thinks was her name. It was as clear as day this person has meant a great deal to him.

The look on Merlin's face was one of the men aware of the mistakes he's made, despite trying his best to do what was right for the most part. Mistakes that have cost him many things, but most of all the people he cared for. And a person he loved.

"Believe me. Right now she may not remember the good but she also doesn't recall the bad. Which could be a blessing in disguise." Merlin said.

"I still think there was more good." Chuck said as a dark haired girl walked up to their table, reminding him a bit of Ellie with green eyes and purposeful walk. She could be determined like that too. And equally as fiery when he got on her bad side.

"If u thought ..." she started striding straight up to Merlin but lost her train of thought as she noticed Chuck standing there before turning to face him with a smile on her face, hand stretched out "Morgana Pendragon."

Chuck almost chocked on his saliva as he shook her hand and Merlin resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Chuck." he said, an easy smile on his lips that no days of hurt could erase. Because damn it all, he was still the guy who believed that good things happened to good people, who believed in miracles.

"You know- you should give this guy a break some time." Chuck told her before picking up his jacket as she eyed him curiously.

"Yea okay, so I'm gonna head home." he added, thinking of the 2234 Burbank address and the comfy red couch, not the semi-detached one bedroom in West London. He hasn't stepped foot in Burbank or even California in years now but he still kept the place. Furniture and all. Call him a sentimental fool but there were some good memories there even if he couldn't bear to think of them now. Someday maybe he'll pass by it like he does by his current apartment. Someday he may not think of it as home. Think of her.

He was trying. This night was the proof of it.

Just before he was about to head out Merlin called out to him.

"I have a feeling she'll call you by the end of the evening-" he said mysteriously.

-oo-

The entire cab ride to his apartment in West London Chuck could not let go of Merlin's parting words but the drinks and the quiet of the town lulled him to sleep. So much so that the cabbie had to shake him awake when they arrived to their destination.

He pulled out a few pounds and his keys walking up to his door when his phone rang.

He answered it without thinking. There were only two people in the world that had this number, two people he trusted enough and whose call he'd answer any time of day (or night). It was probably El checking up on him and he smiled thinking he finally can hinder her worries.

"Hey sis sorry for not answering your call earlier, was out all up till no-"

"Chuck- " is all she said and for a moment all he heard was the rickety sound of his keys as they hit the ground, metal colliding with concrete, reverberating a lot like his heart when it collides with hers these days.

His half drunken mind was confusing emotion with work, tonight in particular. He blamed Merlin for that one. And maybe himself a little bit and his foolish Bartowski heart.

It was not the way Charles Carmichael would think. Not the way a spy would react. He would approach this methodically and figure out by the process of elimination that this call was probably about that mission in Berlin. He remembered that there were a few loose ends left there and a rumor was that her team was involved and he thinks he caught a glimpse of Carina at the lobby of the hotel he was staying at. Or maybe Beckman was reassigning her to help with his next assignment in Birmingham. Either way he'd have to face her after all this time and he wanted to believe he was prepared enough for it now.

"Chuck-" she called again as he reached to get his keys from the ground "Where are you, are you okay?"

 _Okay_? He was as far from that as a human being could be. Because one thing he was not prepared for was for this to be the call he's been waiting on for the last five years, for Morgan to be right after all. Maybe he should have more fate in his friends, or just remember a few things he's forgotten himself, like that Chuck who believed something like this was possible, who believed in magic.

"Yea, yeah I was just looking for my way home..."


End file.
